Hikosama's 50th birthday
by Glyth
Summary: Kenshin gives his master a gift on his birthday.
1. A gift

A short fic that has been bouncing around my head for a long time. It's kinda short, but what the heck, I can't make it any better.  
  
Disclaimer: Nubohiro Watsuki=RK, me=nothing. G?  
  
Hiko's 50th birthday!!!!!  
  
  
  
"Master?", a certain redhead peeped through the door of Hiko-sama's tiny beat-up shack. (really, how do you figure how he gets through the door???)  
  
"Yes?", Hiko answered.  
  
Kenshin had come inside the tiny beat-up shack and stood in front of his master. He was staring at the floor nervously. "Uh."  
  
"Yes, what is it that you want from me, baka deshi?"  
  
"Master, remember how I give you sake every year for your birthday?"  
  
"Yes, what about it?"  
  
"This year, since you're turning fifty and all. I, ahhh, decided to give you something more appropriate."  
  
Hiko's left eyebrow twitched. Was his stupid pupil suggesting that he was getting too old? He snapped, "Get to the point, baka deshi"  
  
"I decided to give you a CANE!!!", Kenshin beamed. He proudly presented an intricately carved, ivory-tipped cane. (you know, the ones rich old people use, if they're not running people over with their motorized wheel-chairs)  
  
Hiko took the "gift" from Kenshin, wordlessly. "Why yes, this would be so useful."  
  
Kenshin beamed some more. "I'm so happy that you like it Master"  
  
"TO HIT YOU ON THE HEAD WITH!!!!" Hiko proceeds to bash Kenshin on the head with the fancy cane.  
  
"Orororo..."  
  
  
  
Author's notes: It's too short!!! 


	2. More gifts for Hikosama

Disclaimer: Go sue someone else. I have no money.  
  
*** blah blah *** just weird stuff I like to insert in a story ^^  
  
This was supposed to be a one-shot story but then I got another weird idea. Maybe I'll even do all of them if I get more ideas.  
  
Hiko-sama's 50th birthday!!!  
  
Sano was lazily ambling towards Hiko-sama's tiny beat-up shack ***insert Sano's theme music*** when he heard a crash followed by a very familiar "Orororo.". He smirked, seems like Kenshin got here before him even though he left first. Probably because he took time off the journey to powderize a few boulders and a few trees along the way. He even tried to do the Futae no Kiwami on a little pond but all that did was get him wet and killed a few fish, which he roasted later. ***insert a picture of a forest trail that had been 80% destroyed, only a few admirably stalwart trees were able to survive the destructive force which is Sanosuke Sagara***  
  
He opened the door to see a semi-dead Kenshin lying on the floor and Hiko-sama sporting a huge vein on his head and a very intricate walking stick. The walking stick had a few cracks on it, a testament to Kenshin's hard head, considering the fact that the walking stick looked like it was made of hardwood.  
  
"Ororororo..", the twitching figure kept on mumbling. Sano figured that Kenshin was alright since he could still speak. He's used to it anyway, living with Koaru and all.  
  
"What are you doing here Sagara?", and irate Hiko asked. He was obviously still bugged by the cane, which Sano assumed, Kenshin gave him.  
  
"Just here to greet you a happy birthday.", Sano shrugged. "Here's your birthday gift." With that, he handed Hiko a bulky object wrapped in sackcloth.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Your birthday present.", Sano said with a wide smile.  
  
"You bought me a birthday present?", Hiko raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, since you're getting so OLD and all."  
  
***CRACK***  
  
"OOoooWWWWwwww", Sano cried, rubbing his head. Apparently his head was harder than Kenshin's since he didn't get knocked out.  
  
A few more cracks appeared on the heavy-duty, hardwood cane. ***Well, it has to be heavy duty if it's gonna be used by Hiko-sama. ***  
  
While Sano was rubbing the throbbing bump on his head. Hiko looked at the object suspiciously. First, he knocked it with his knuckles then proceeded to poke and prod it. After a short session of poking and prodding, he put it against his ear and shook it and after that he even sniffed it.  
  
Sano sweatdropped, "Uh, Hiko-sama, what are you doing?"  
  
Hiko looked at him and said. "I was just checking if you didn't give me anything stupid."  
  
Sano sweatdropped some more. "Look, just open it, okay? I'm sure you'll like it."  
  
Hiko looked at Sano's gift. "Well, I'm sure it's not another cane." He started ripping off the sack cloth.  
  
It was a bottle of sake.  
  
Sano beamed. "Ain't it great? It's the best money can buy. "  
  
Hiko said nothing. He picked up the bottle and just held it for a second or two. The he opened the sake bottle and took a sniff.  
  
"This is only half-full!!! You drank from it! How dare you give me a second-hand gift!", Hiko glared at Sano.  
  
"What?!", Sano objected. "Can't you see? It's full all the way to the top."  
  
"No. This is only half sake. You drank the other half didn't you???"  
  
"How did you know? You didn't even drink from it!"  
  
" I have a sixth sense when it comes to sake. I can tell anything about sake by just a mere sniff!!! You can't fool me!", Hiko looked somewhat proud by his ability to tell anything about sake by simply taking a whiff of it.  
  
"Ehh. I was thirsty after the long journey so I drank some of it."  
  
"Then what's the other half content of this bottle?"  
  
"Um.."  
Author's notes: Well, this one is longer than the other one. But still short.  
  
What do you think was the other half of the sake bottle? Maybe he recycled.. O_o  
Nah.  
  
Well, I did say he passed by a little pond right? ^^ I wonder if pond water with little fishies is sanitary. Probably not, since it's stagnant water. Imagine the tadpoles, or the bacteria. O_o  
  
And thank you to Kay-san, Chiruken, DragonGoddess, aku-chan, Goddess of Stupidity and AniPrinzess for reviewing me!!! Those were my first reviews. 


	3. Aoshi

Disclaimer: Sue me. 

Hiko-sama's 50th birthday !!!

            Sano and Kenshin were rubbing their sore heads while Hiko was looking at the sake bottle suspiciously. He still didn't know what Sano had diluted the sake with and the rooster still wouldn't tell.

*** POP ***

A frog had jumped out of the mouth of the sake bottle looking a little dazed. 

Hiko glared at Sano, who was looking a little sheepish. Just a little.

Sano laughed nervously. "Ah, I've bet you haven't seen a drunk frog before, have you? Ehe..he..he…"

Before Sano could be given another thwack from the abused cane there was a soft knock on the door.

It was none other than Aoshi Shinomori bearing an intricately wrapped parcel.

He wordlessly handed it to Hiko then sat crosslegged in another corner of Hiko-sama's tiny beat-up shack ™.

"Oh, it is so beautifully wrapped Shinomori-san!", exclaimed a goggle-eyed Kenshin.

"Thank you, the blue symbolizes peace with the red ribbon hints at passion… the yellow is for… and the whites… the greens…"

As soon as Hiko got the package he started to unwrap it with no further ceremony.

"Hey! Why'd you just open his gift but you checked mine like it contained something nasty."

"It did contain something nasty."

While Sano fumed away, Hiko finished opening his gift.

It was a beautiful dainty tea set.

Hiko picked one tiny dainty tea cup. If it looked tiny and dainty before, it looked microscopic in his hand.

Sano snickered. "What are you gonna drink in that? Sake?"

"Not your sake I won't."

"Hey! I really did work hard to buy that sake. Take that back!"

"Too bad you didn't work hard to keep yourself from drinking it."

Sano and Hiko bickered about the sake, the frog in the sake and everything else about the sake. Pretty soon, there was a tussle in the tiny beat-up shack.

Kenshin looked at them and sighed. "Well, what are we going to do?"

Asohi looked at Kenshin. "I could give you another foot massage."

Author's notes: 

            To DragonGoddess: I couldn't resist. Thank you for the fun idea!

            And thank you to all people who reviewed!

            To people who didn't get the foot massage thing, remember the day Asohi and Kenshin spent together, in one of the last episodes? Aoshi gave Kenshin a foot massage then. O_o

            I just had to write this in because I wanted Aoshi to be around for a later chapter.

What if: 

            ***POP***

            A frog jumped out of the mouth of the Sake bottle.

            "Aieeee!!!!" Hiko screeched like a girl, "I hate frogs!" He takes the cane and bashes the poor unsuspecting little frog to a mushy splat on the floor.

            ***Sano and Kenshin sweatdrop***

What if:

Hiko picked one tiny dainty tea cup. If it looked tiny and dainty before, it looked microscopic in his hand.

"Hey, I lost it in my hand!"


	4. Kaoru and Yahiko

Disclaimer: Why me? There are thousands of other fanfic authors out there.  
  
Hiko-sama's 50th birthday!!!  
  
Hiko didn't really mind turning fifty. That was because he didn't look any older than he was ten years ago, or fifteen years ago, or thirty years ago. didn't he age at all?  
  
But the strange people that he once thought were his friends were taking his day into and convoluting it into a nightmare. For one thing, his tiny beat-up shack was getting a little crowded. and he had a black eye from the earlier tussle with Sano.  
  
The only thing good was that behind him Sano was in much worse condition, with two black eyes and a lot of scrapes and bruises. No one tangled with the thirteenth master of the Hiten Mitsurugi and gets away unscathed.  
  
"Happy Birthday Hiko-samaaaaaaa!!!" a shrill voice cried out.  
  
Everyone turned to see who it was. There in the doorway was a figure in a yellow kimono. She was carrying a large basket covered with a cloth. She smiled a wide smile and placed the basket in front of Hiko. Behind her came a young boy with spiky hair carrying a shinai.  
  
There was a strange smell coming from inside the basket. A little fishy and a strange irritating odor that you could not define.  
  
"What's that weird smell?" said Sano as he wrinkled his nose.  
  
"It smells familiar, desu." Kenshin said. "I wonder where I have smelled that aroma before."  
  
"Whatever it is, it smells horrible." Hiko said as he pinched his nose.  
  
"The scent is most unpleasant." An even-voiced Aoshi said but his eyes were beginning to water.  
  
"I told you it stank Kaoru!" Yahiko said.  
  
"Ah, no, no, no!" cried Kaoru. "That is just the smell. I assure you it tastes delicious!" With that she pulled the cloth covering whatever was causing the stench.  
  
The moment the cloth uncovered the thing, a wave of putrid air assailed their nostrils. When the smelly fog cleared, there in the basket was a sad-looking steamed fish. It had a few wilted pieces of garnish on the side.  
  
Everyone just stared. This was the saddest fish they had ever seen. Dead or Alive. The one eye that they could see was discolored like someone had punched it with a miniature fist. There were bumps and gashes all over it's body and there were rips in it's skin everywhere. There were still some patches of scale all around and the tail was half hacked-off. Just beneath the gill, a chunk of meat was missing. The unfortunate fish also lacked a lower jaw.  
  
"I hope it died before you did this to it, Kaoru." Said Sano. He chewed on the fishbone in his mouth.  
  
"Wow, how could you give a fish a black eye?" Kenshin cringed. He pitied the poor fish since he had been on the receiving end of Kaoru's punches a great many times.  
  
"What is it supposed to be, anyways?" Sano leaned in for a closer look, but back off like he'd been punched. He fanned the air around him. "God, that's nasty!"  
  
"No!" cried Kaoru. "I worked real hard for this. I followed the recipe to the letter. There is no way this would taste bad."  
  
Yahiko just snickered but didn't say anything lest he get a black-eye like the poor fish in the basket.  
  
"Even the vegetables look mutilated." Hiko examined the garnish next to the fish. "What did you use to cut it with, a finger?"  
  
Twin spots of red appeared on the raccoon girl's cheeks in embarrassment. Her hands itched to land a fist on Hiko's arrogant jaw but since it was his birthday she restrained herself. Barely.  
  
"Hey, how come the fish's jaw is missing?"  
  
"Well, the stupid fish bit me! Serves it right!"  
  
"But Kaoru, the fish was dead when we bought it."  
  
"Well, I'm very sure that it tastes good despite the looks and the smell." She said huffily. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks from her sleeve she picked a piece of fish. "Here! Who wants some delicious fish?"  
  
Everyone looked at each other uneasily. Who knows what would happen to them if they ate that heinous thing?  
  
"Hey! Isn't that Shishio outside?" Sano pointed out the window.  
  
"Really? Where?", Koaru turned to see.  
  
And with legendary speed, these great warriors ran like chickens being chased by a butcher.  
  
"I don't see him!"  
  
"Guys.? Guys???"  
  
~ * ~ Author's notes:  
  
Who would have thought more people would have reviewed? And over what I, and other reviewers, thought was the worst chapter. Not that I don't appreciate it. I really do.  
  
To Fire Seed: What does LMAO mean? Ignorant of me, but I don't really know.  
  
To Cat H: Aoshi will explain later. Dunno when yet though.  
  
Oh, there's one more thing. There are requests for Okon AKA Ochika or Omimei to appear. ( I will use the name Okon as I'm more used to it. ) I have been thinking on it since the second chapter and I couldn't decide therefore I'm letting you people vote!  
  
Should Okon give a gift that's naughty or nice? Suggestions are also appreciated. Though I already have an idea for naughty. Not too naughty though, I want to keep the rating PG.  
  
UNFORTUNATELY, A FISH WAS HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THS FIC. But I assure you that it died before it could feel much pain.  
  
Once again, Thanx to all who review. You really know how to make me happy, don't you? 


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